The types of roles and expectations you’ll find in pet play
Pet play has a lot of “job titles,” and people love to collect them like Pokémon. The important part to remember is: roles are optional, flexible, and not mutually exclusive. You can be a pup who sometimes handles. A handler who sometimes pups. A trainer who’s basically a snack dealer with standards. Truthfully, none of this is a rigid hierarchy unless you want it to be—and consent is what makes any role real.
Below are the most common roles you’ll hear, plus what people usually mean when they say them:
Pack roles (group dynamics)
When multiple pups/pets interact, you might hear:
Pack leader / alpha (often an organizer/structure person, not “I own everyone”)
Beta (supportive leadership energy)
Omega (often playful/social glue—varies by group)
Baseline expectation:
Group roles are cultural and personal. They only matter if the group agrees they matter.
Pups / Pets / Creatures
What it is: The person stepping into an animal or creature headspace—pup, kitten, fox, pony, dragon, “cryptid,” whatever fits.
What it usually looks like:
Headspace: playful, instinct-led, curious, loyal, goofy, protective, affectionate, rambunctious… pick your flavor.
Physicality: sometimes on all fours, sometimes not. Some pups are all movement. Some are mostly vibe.
Baseline expectation:
A pup is still a person. That means you still own your boundaries, you still use consent, and you’re not obligated to perform for anyone.
Handlers
What it is: The person who helps manage the pup/pet’s experience—care, structure, safety, and social navigation. Sometimes they hold the leash. Sometimes they’re just the anchor.
What handlers commonly do:
Check-ins: “You good?” “Need water?” “Too much stimulation?”
Guidance: keeping the pup within agreed rules or space
Support: helping with gear, breaks, aftercare, or introductions
Protection: running interference if someone crosses boundaries
Baseline expectation:
A handler is not automatically a dom, not automatically romantic, and not entitled to control. Their power (if any) exists only where consent allows it.
Trainers
What it is: The person focused on behavior, routines, and “training games.” Trainers often overlap with handlers, but their vibe leans more structured.
What trainers commonly do:
Commands and cues (sit, stay, down, heel, place)
Tricks and rewards (treats, praise, pats, play)
Rituals that help headspace (collar on = “pup time,” etc.)
Consistency: boundaries that feel safe, not harsh
Baseline expectation:
Training should be collaborative and fun unless both people explicitly want it strict. “Trainer” without consent is just “random person being bossy,” and nobody likes that.
Other kinks and dynamics that may overlap with pet play
Some pet play is purely playful or soothing with no kink attached. Other times, pet play overlaps with broader BDSM/kink dynamics. When it does, you may hear roles like:
Doms / Dominants (and titles like Sir/Ma’am)
What it is: A person in a dominance role when there’s an agreed power exchange.
Subs / Submissives
What it is: A person who consensually takes a submissive role. In pet play, the pup/pet is sometimes the sub, but not always—some pups are switches, and some dynamics are non-D/s entirely.
Tops / Bottoms
What it is: Describes who is “doing the action” (top) and who is “receiving the action” (bottom). This is about activity/behavior in a scene, not necessarily power or relationship roles.
Sadists / Masochists
What it is: Some people incorporate sensation play—impact, restraint, roughhousing, or intensity—because it fits their dynamic. Others keep pet play soft and cozy. Both are valid.
Brats / Tamer dynamics
What it is: Playful resistance, teasing, and “pushback” that’s negotiated and enjoyed by both sides. In pet play, this can look like mischievous pups and patient handlers/trainers.
Caregivers / littlespace-adjacent support (overlap can exist)
What it is: Some people approach pet play through care, nurturing, and soothing. This can overlap with caregiver-style dynamics and even ABDL (without being the same thing). The key is that everyone agrees on what the dynamic is—and what it isn’t.
Baseline for all kink dynamics with pet play:
None of these titles, roles, or dynamics grant anyone access to your body. If you didn’t negotiate power exchange, protocol, control, or intensity, don’t assume it’s on the table and ALWAYS ASK CONSENT.